If you learn to change your words, you can change your life. Changing negative self-talk to positive words about yourself can help you toward the path of a life of joy and fulfillment.
Being a solo mom can be very challenging. Being solely responsible for the lives of others can also be a lonely and scary place. Even if you are not mothering solo.
You may feel hopeless and alone.
Some cultures even discard their single mothers like two-day-old trash. Other cultures might just tolerate you. But you are not alone.
Consider that despite the fact that Hagar (single mom in the Bible) was the servant, she was loved and protected by God. God also responded to her cry for help.
He will help you too. But you must change your mindset. You must learn to change your words.
Make a concerted effort to change the stories you tell yourself. It helps to change your perspective.
Do you feel alone in the wilderness? Does raising children make you feel like you are always dodging a bullet? When was the last time you weren’t waiting for the other shoe to drop? Have you given up on finding peace and joy? Do you condemn yourself for being in the “position” you’re in?
I’ve been there. But you don’t have to keep on this negative path.
I know from experience it’s not easy. But I can help you nix some of this negative self-talk and show you how to live life, expecting only the best. It’s time. Look, I’ve experienced these and many more feelings of frustration, hopelessness, and condemnation.
For “…we are snared by the words of our mouths”(Proverbs 6:2).
So let’s examine some of our thoughts, feelings, and words that create negative self-talk:
Negative Self-Talk #1. I’m all alone and nobody cares
It feels that way sometimes, doesn’t it? You look at your children, regardless of their age. Then you take a look at your life. You see nothing but very tall mountains and bottomless pits.
But I’m here to tell you that you are not alone. First, you have a God who cares for you. Second, you have those amazing children. So be thankful for them.
Finally, don’t let your own pride and self-loathing prevent you from reaching out to others who care. I mentioned this tip in How to Change Your Mindset When You Suddenly Become a Solo Mom. Yes, people do care. Change your words.
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Negative Self-Talk #2. Nothing ever goes right. It’s not going to work
Think back to a time you had a victory. You overcame a certain challenge. Build on that one victory. Remember how you felt.
Now take that feeling and recreate it as you move again towards another victory. And say it out loud! Believe that things will change and they will. Change your state.
In the book, The Greatest Salesman in the World, Og Mandino created the ten scrolls, which are ten affirmations for your life.
You can also sign up for free audio of the scrolls on their website.
The first scroll is, “Today I begin a new life“. What do you think will happen if you repeat this mantra to yourself every day for 7 days?
Try it and see.
Negative Self-Talk #3: I’m a loser. Nothing good is going to happen to me. My kids deserve someone better. I’m a nobody.
Wow! Children always need their parents. And if you are a solo mom, baby you are all they’ve got.
Turn that thought around. Speak life into your surrounding. Stand in front of the mirror. Really look at yourself. Then close your eyes. Imagine what you desire. See it in your mind’s eye — visualize the new you. Then go forward speaking only positive words.
For example, “I am beautiful”. And while you are on the treadmill, “I’m strong”. And while you consider the bills, etc. “I can do this”.
Yes, change your words. A full-text version of the 10 scrolls is available as well and may help you start to change your life today.
Negative Self-Talk #4. I wish I had. I wish I hadn’t.
Living with regrets doesn’t solve anything. All that does is lock you in the past. Listen, the past is gone, you can’t change it. And you certainly can’t control the future. Stop wasting your life tormenting yourself over a bunch of “coulda, woulda, shoulda”.
What you do have is today. Make the most of it. Make a change and change your life.
Gratitude: The perfect solution to break negative self-talk
Breaking the pattern of negative self-talk can be difficult. But if you’re having difficulty changing the stories you tell yourself, try giving thanks. Did you wake up this morning without help from another person? Be grateful for that.
Start noticing anything in your life that you are grateful for. Your job or work. The fact that you don’t need assistance to breathe.
Small steps. Start to write down your thoughts. Even when they’re negative. But especially when you think of something you’re grateful for. A gratitude journal can help you organize your grateful thoughts. Or use a notebook to journal all your thoughts. No judgment is required!
Need some help with journaling? Sign up for my free writing prompts. Enter your email below and you’ll receive daily writing prompts. You can change how often you receive emails at any time. You’re in control.
But sign up today to get started on changing negative self-talk so you can change your life.